I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
