i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I enjoy the company of your penis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize