remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
