Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
