Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
