Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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