why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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