The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
