You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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