Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
