Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Found your dick twin last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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