And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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