we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
