I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
3pm strippers are depressing
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
