Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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