Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
