Your tits are I can't wait for
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
