my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
