I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
