i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
