Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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