I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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