I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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