i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
