now i know why i became what i already was.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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