so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize