Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Floor bacon is actually really good
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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