i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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