FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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