Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
