sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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