Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
nutella sex= disaster
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
