Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
