I puked a lego.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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