dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
