dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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