It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
