Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
