no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
