i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Randomize
