Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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