That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
