My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
