just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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