butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
