some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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