its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
