So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
