and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
