I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize