come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
