i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
pop tarts are not kleenex
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize