I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
