oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
