If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
