So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just high enough for therapy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
