their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
