Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
