Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think people are normalizing furries
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
